I recently stepped out of my reality and into the reality of four New York women. In my late twenties and early thirties, I faithfully watched their lives unfold and likened their single-girl experiences to my own. Four years later, not only has Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte’s lives changed, but also so has mine.

Let me start with my not so Roger Ebert mini-review of the movie… I loved it. It was very funny and I would definitely go see it again. If you were a fan of the series, then you will not be disappointed with the movie. However, if you never connected with the series, then I doubt you will neither understand nor like any of the raunchy humor in the movie. Case in point, Mr. Ebert, a 66 year-old-man will never understand the importance of a bikini wax or what it’s really like to be a single woman. The only character he liked was the only one I didn’t, Carrie’s assistant Louise played by Jennifer Hudson. I hate to say this, because I really respect what Jennifer Hudson has accomplished in her career, but that girl cannot act. Grant it, I didn’t see her in Dreamgirls, so I can only judge her performance in this movie. Enough of my review, moving on to more important things, namely, what I took away from this movie.

What I took away from the movie is that I’m missing three things: my style, independence, and relationships with my girlfriends.

1. When I was single, I could see bits and pieces of myself in each one of the four characters. Now, one husband and three kids later, I can see the pieces of myself that I have lost. Being a mom and going through three pregnancies in four years, I’ve lost my sense of style. I have traded fitted clothing, heels, and a seamless backside for track pants, tennis shoes, and comfortable underwear. This never became so apparent to me until I saw Carrie running in the snow in stilettos. Obviously, this is an extreme example. My feet are way too wide for stilettos, not to mention I would look like a thirteen-year-old girl trying to walk in them. And when it comes to snow, all bets are off. I’ll wear whatever it takes not to fall on my ass. My point is that I hate my current style. I want to feel good in what I put on my body. Instead, I’ve become accustomed to hiding it until I burn off the last few inches the last kid left behind. Time to add some more flavor.

2. In the movie, Samantha realizes that she has given up her sense of self and independence. In a sense, she lost herself and forgot who she was. Something that is so easy to do when you become a mom. Although, Samantha isn’t a mom in the movie, the idea is still the same. Very often, women tend to give up a part of themselves for everyone else. By the end of the movie, Samantha remembers who she is and acts on it. The storyline reminds me of a scene in The Incredibles between Edna and Helen Parr (Incredible), a.k.a. Elastigirl. Helen is upset because she’s full of doubt about her husband and Edna slaps her in the face and says, “Pull-yourself-together! What will you do?” Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are.” I can’t believe that I just quoted a line from The Incredibles as a source of inspiration, but I swear that line invigorates me every time I hear it. And trust me I hear it a lot.

3. That brings me to my last lightbulb moment of the movie. (Hopefully, someone is still reading this after the ‘Incredible’ thing.) No matter which direction life has taken these four women, they remain close friends and get together to just hang out. Now, I still have close relationships with many of my girlfriends, but it’s more though the phone, email, or occasional kid birthday party. I don’t remember the last time I just hung out with one or two of my friends that didn’t involve a kid. Okay, I do, it was when I saw this movie with a new friend of mine, but it was only a couple of hours and no Cosmo’s were involved. Therefore, I’m asking myself, “Is it really that difficult to schedule at least one night a month to just hang out?” There are always the excuses of not enough money, time, babysitters, etc… C’mon! Wouldn’t we be better mothers, wives, and women if we started to do a little something for ourselves? Like fostering the relationships, we have or had with our friends. If the desire and intent is there, anything can happen, no excuses.

Whew, all of this from a movie a critic at the New York Times dubbed as “…vulgar, shrill, deeply shallow…” Oh well, it’s all subjective anyway.

Side note: I hope that it is understood that all of the examples I used in this blog are just that examples and generalities. I live in the Midwest not Manhattan, so I’m not saying that I should be wearing Manolo Blahniks. I’m also being general about Samantha and her situation and not comparing her personality to mine. Matter of fact, I took a Sex in the City quiz and it turns out that I’m most like Miranda. I don’t know what to think about that. Maybe someone who knows me could comment and tell me what they think.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet, catch this quick clip. Or if you have seen the movie, relive it and want to go see it again.