Help! Our house is being swallowed by toys. I donā?Tt think there is one 5 square feet of space in our house that doesnā?Tt have at least one toy sitting in it. I have even found those suckers in my bed while sleeping. Yes itā?Ts true, a little Spiderman action figure was trying to get fresh with me in my sleep the other day. Needless to say, he got a swift kick across the room and into the hallway.

So what happened? How did we accumulate so much crap in so few years? Iā?Tve gotten rid of a great deal, but it seems that these toys are multiplying like amoebas in a Petri dish. And I canā?Tt seem to get it under control.

The two biggest problems with our homeā?Ts toy invasion are: small parts and drive-thru junk. I never feel bad about tossing the crap toys my sons have accumulated from the occasional trip to McDonalds. Of course I have to make sure they donā?Tt catch me in the act of throwing them away, and I have to make sure the toys are not in view from the top of the trash can. Now, the small parts to the bigger toys are a pestilence of their own. I have never been good about keeping the toys with a high count of small parts together. Iā?Tve tried leaving it to the boys to care for their toys. Big mistake. Iā?Tm still finding little frickin fishes in odd places from an old fishing toy my sons stopped playing with ages ago. I stepped on one of those b*stards the other day. I actually thought I had gotten rid of that thing! So what gives?

My next door neighbor is a wise woman. She has one son who is 2 years older than my oldest son. Her son is more than happy to give his no longer played with toys to my sons. And she is more than happy to let him. Which in turn, makes my sons very happy. So as she is downsizing her toy menace, mine is growing by the week.

In my hopes to simplify our lives, Iā?Tve asked my extended family members to buy my older son books instead of toys if they wish to get him any gifts for his upcoming birthday. I hope they respect my wishes. I can only hope that I will someday have to write a blog about our out of control book collection!