Finally, after seven months of online previews, (I have two sons), I saw Spiderman 3. I had to. Because I’ve put so much time into watching the various trailers, I had to see how all of the gaps were filled in. Well, I have to say that I have mixed feelings. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either. I wanted to love it because I loved Spiderman 2. But the filmmakers made it easier to tolerate than to love. Let me explain.

*Spoiler Warning*
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I will start with what I liked about the movie. First, I really enjoyed the music. I was nervous about the music when I heard Danny Elfman was no longer doing the score. He at least allowed the filmmakers to use the opening Spiderman Theme. Good. But the new guy, Christopher Young, did a great job. The music was enjoyable and fitting for the movie. Next, I liked the Sandman villain for the most part, because I found him to be sympathetic. Underdeveloped perhaps, but he was one of many villains in the movie. So I could overlook it. He also had the coolest special effects. However, the giant Sandman at the climax was a little ridiculous. He looked and sounded eerily like the giant gingerbread man at the end of Shrek 2. Can’t figure that one out.
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I loved, loved, loved the maitre d’ at the French restaurant where Peter was going to propose to Mary Jane. B-movie king Bruce Campbell has proven to be a reliable cameo for the Spiderman films. His pronunciation of Peter Parker’s name alone was worth the $6.50 it cost me for admission. I still like the Jonah Jameson character. Is he getting tiresome? Possibly, but he still makes me chuckle.
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Now on to the aspects of the film that needed help. First of all, the story had about as much cohesion as a three day old band-aid. It was all over the place. And don’t get me started on the painful dialogue. It was so bad in some places that I wanted to stick my malted milk balls into my ear canal just to block the noise. Also, I was bummed that some of the characters I used to like really annoyed me this time. Take poor, old tired Aunt May doing her best Jiminy Cricket imitation throughout the film. Always turning up at convenient times to give Peter another life lesson. And speaking of showing up at a convenient time, Butler Bernard gave Harry Osborn, aka New Goblin, a vital piece of information right before the climax. Never mind that Butler Bernard kept that information to himself all through Spiderman 2. He could have saved poor Harry from a concussion, a deformed face, and this constant weird grin that I can only describe as creepy. What was that all about? Maybe the next Spiderman can have a subplot where Aunt May and Butler Bernard fall in love. I think there is room for an octogenarian’s love story in the Spiderman series. If anything, they would just be adding another demographic to their fan base.
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And now to the most painful part of the movie…yes it has to be the transformation of Peter Parker after the alien symbiote takes over his body. They show the red Spiderman suit turn into the black suit, but somehow leave out the part where the symbiote combs Peter’s greasy hair into his face, and applies black liner to his eyes. I wanted to scratch my eyes out while watching the new Peter strut down the street. It was just too horrid to witness. To sum up, Spiderman 3 has some very enjoyable moments and some very painful moments. Not unlike attending a wedding. I laughed, I cried, I looked at my watch. Yes this one comes in at 2 hours and 20 minutes. But I can think of some worse ways to spend 2 hours and 20 minutes.
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*A note of caution. The Venom character may be a bit too scary for younger children.