It is warm outside and the ants are out in full force. Or should I say IN, in full force. In my house that is. This week I have become a one woman ant killing machine. And I am sick of it. And these are not the teeny little ants you find hovering over a child’s dropped lollipop. These are big ones. Not quite out of the 1950’s sci-fi classic Them!, but large enough to make a crunch. And large enough that you can easily see their three body sections. Yuck! I realize that some consider ants the least offensive of the household pests, and I tend to agree. However, they won’t stop coming in!

It has been so bad this season so far that I actually think I saw one little bugger carrying a flag. Call me crazy, but I’m sure they are getting ready to claim my household as one of their colonies. Well, not on my watch! I’ve decided to try some toxic-free homemade remedies to try to push them back out the door. I’ve tried cayenne pepper, cinnamon, apple cider vinegar with water and even baby powder. Although the odor combination from these products is quite dizzying for humans, my little arthropod friends are not getting the hint. So I’ve stopped messing around and I’ve called in the cavalry… yes, my two little boys.

I can’t imagine anything more terrifying for an ant than a preschooler with a grin on his face and a shoe on his foot. There is so much stomping going on in my house that I am constantly tempted to break into “We Will Rock You.” But I stop myself because I have a job to do. And I will prevail. At least until it gets warmer and the air-conditioner goes on. The ants usually disappear by then to make room for their more undesirable cousins, the earwigs. Oh and then the flies. And I can’t forget the Japanese beetles and the mosquitos. Come to think of it, these ants really aren’t that bad.