I went with my mom to see the new double feature movie called Grindhouse by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez today. And what a wild ride it was. A very heavy R-rated wild ride. So imagine my shock when I saw two women bring in a boy who couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. Not only did they bring him to this very R-rated movie, but they had him sit by himself in the floor seats while they sat in the stadium seats. Maybe they were hoping he wouldn’t be able to see very well from where he was sitting. I don’t know. However, having two young boys myself, I could not concentrate on all of the head smashing, zombie oozing and the over the top blood, guts and adult humor that occupied the first feature called Planet Terror. As an adult I could appreciate the comic book quality of the violence, but how could this seven year old boy? As an adult I could appreciate the clever casting of the terrible and terrific B-movie actor Jeff Fahey, but how could this 7 year old boy? I wanted to go down to his seat and shield him from the horror on the screen, and take him to the next theater where Meet the Robinsons was playing.

I turned to look at my mother who was just as disturbed by the presence of this young boy as I was. And then the memories started flooding in. This lovely woman sitting next to me was the same woman who took me and my siblings to the drive-in to see the movie The Omen when I was only 4 years old. How appropriate. And so began my life-long fear of baboons. (Although isn’t everyone afraid of baboons?) Oh yeah and how could I forget Invasion of the Body Snatchers when I was 6. A 6 year old would never have a nightmare about an old man’s head on a dog’s body. No never. And all of the other 70’s horror movies that are too numerous to count and remember.

So by the middle of the more dialogue heavy second feature called Death Proof, I could relax because the boy was gone, and I realized that if the worst memory he got from seeing this very R-rated movie was Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas losing her brain to zombies, then he’d probably turn out just fine.