My husband must be colorblind. I’m not sure. But regardless, I am never letting him dress our children again. At least not when I am home and am able to stop it.

His latest apparel concoction for my 5-year-old son had me positively dizzy. A red and white checkered button down shirt will NEVER go with maroon sweatpants. EVER! In fact, the only place red and maroon belong together is in a box of Crayola’s. My 2-year-old son’s outfit wasn’t much better. I’m not a big fan of camouflage pants with orange and black striped shirts. When my husband is in charge of outfits, there are so many different color combinations going on that our children look as if a bag of skittles has exploded on them.

I did let him get away with his latest dressing disaster since I was ill and would not be joining them on their outing. I would be in the safety of my home, away from all of the anguished faces of the other mothers and metrosexual fathers who happened to glance in their direction.

So, if you are out at the store or the park one day, and you happen to see one carefree looking fellow with two young boys who look like the offspring of Bozo the Clown and Rainbow Brite, chances are, you are looking at my family. And, chances are, I was sick that day.